About the Eorlings
We have a ring that needs a guide.
To travel deep and slip inside.
Your secret pass is dark and sweet.
A prize no Hobbit could defeat.
You offer up a hidden cave.
That needs an explorer, brazen and brave.
We'll march right in with spears in hand.
To claim your tightest plot of land.
Like Gollum Chasing after gold.
We'll grab a prize that's wet and bold.
Stroke the shaft, we can test the blade.
Until the perfect entry's made.
We hope thispoem didn't fool you too much, we're a bunch of shitposters and bleeding hearts. But don't tell the ladies that. It'll seriously ruin our "cool guy" factor. Also all of us are autistic and depressed so there's that. Is it appealing? Does our bullshit entice you?
We aren't hiring. Sorry.